Embracing Body Liberation: A Chiropractor's Journey Out of Diet Culture
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For years, I believed that my body couldn’t be trusted. I viewed it as a project to fix and felt inadequate because I didn't fit the societal mold of a smaller body like my peers. This belief led me to study nutrition in college and attempt various methods of controlling my body size. I learned how to restrict food and increase activity to an unhealthy level. I couldn’t help but crave the validation of being told how "amazing" I looked and how diligently I had worked to make my body smaller. I taught how-to classes on weight loss and food elimination, wrongly assuming that the lack of progress from a patient was due to insufficient effort instead of the diet not working. In doing so, I endangered my own health and unfairly judged those around me, including my friends, family, and patients.
Six years ago, a significant shift occurred within me. My body finally rebelled against my attempts to force change upon it. My hypothalamus, the part of the brain responsible for regulating body weight, began working tirelessly to find a weight that felt comfortable for my brain. All the dieting, fasting, restricting, and intense exercises stopped working. My body started to become larger again. This shift brought about feelings of vulnerability and shame, exacerbated by our culture's negative perception of larger bodies. I feared what would happen if I stopped trying to change my body, yet I also feared the toll restricting was taking on me physically and emotionally.
Around that time, I unexpectedly discovered the Health at Every Size (HAES) community — surprisingly enough, through a Keto Diet podcast! A seed was planted in my brain; at first, I was skeptical, but then it all started to make sense. Our weight does not dictate our health, and humans come in a bell curve of body shapes. I started to dig deep into the literature on HAES and read every book (more on these books later!) I could find in the body-positive, anti-diet, fat-liberation space. I immersed myself in stories from other women who had reached a similar turning point by stopping the diet cycle, and it was inspirational and also very comforting. Knowing that so many others have had the same experience as myself. These books and knowledge fueled my desire to trust my body for the first time in my adult life.
This was a terrifying notion because I had learned that my fat body could not be trusted and that controlling it was the only way to be healthy. Leaning into the body’s innate wisdom to know when to start and stop eating, when to rest, and when to move was impossible to imagine.
Fear soon crept in. What if I regained the weight I had lost? Would my patients still listen to my clinical advice if I appeared unable to adhere to conventional "health" standards? What if these standards were simply flawed? And what if my appearance led to judgments from my colleagues, considering the stereotype that chiropractors should look a certain way? Despite the fear of vulnerability and the risk of not always appearing perfect, I recognized the necessity of confronting these challenges so I could grow and find my authentic self.
My chiropractic practice took a 180-degree turn when this happened in my personal life. I could no longer ethically and in good conscience talk about weight loss with patients. I had to learn who I was as a provider all over again. It was difficult but I am so thankful I was able to take this leap. My practice is now thriving and I feel more authentic and genuine when working with my patients. I’m in my largest body and yet, I feel more calm and relaxed in my daily practice. My patients will never have to worry about being body-shamed or about me blaming their pain on their weight.
We all deserve to feel comfortable and free of body shame when we go to the doctor.
Every time I converse with a patient about the concepts of body comfort and weight neutrality, it's a reminder of the profound impact we can have on each other's lives. These discussions not only provide invaluable support and guidance for my patients but also serve as a source of personal reinforcement. Combining this with the positive transformation in a patient's body following a chiropractic adjustment fills me with an overwhelming sense of purpose. It reaffirms my belief in the power of chiropractic care to contribute positively to individuals' journeys toward body comfort and acceptance. Chiropractic care is unique in the way we can help people feel more connected to their bodies and reduce pain and joint dysfunction, often right away.
Through my practice, I aim to create a safe and inclusive space where individuals of all shapes and sizes can feel empowered to learn ways to be more comfortable and understand the body’s messages about pain and movement.
As I reflect on my journey over the past decade, I'm struck by the profound shift. What once felt like an uphill battle, constantly pushing against societal norms and expectations, has evolved into a journey of authenticity and empowerment.
Note on language: I use “fat” as a neutral descriptor as used in the fat activist community.